There but by the grace of God

There but by the grace of God....

I can't think, really can't, how many times in a day I think this.  Some days, like today, it consumes me.  Almost paralyzes me. Why me? Why am I (right now) one of the blessed ones?

It could be me. It could be my family.  It could be my sons abducted and enslaved to work in cacao fields.  It could be my daughters kidnapped to work in brothels.  It could be my family living in a homeless shelter, or worse yet living in a cardboard box in minus 50 wind chills. It could be my husband dying from cancer, leaving behind sons at an impressionable age. It could be me juggling a life between work and cancer treatments.  It could be me caring for an invalid mother and kids at the same time. It could be my family making difficult decisions about paying the electric bill or eating something besides spaghetti o's for the month.

Fortunately, today it isn't.  And so I count myself among the blessed. Extremely blessed. And yet cognizant that in a moment - it could all change.

Last night a sweet, sweet woman from our church (and our favorite waitress of all time) lost her son to a murder-suicide act.  Four families' lives -- at least -- were changed in a moment. Her son is now a murderer who took his own life. There is no denying. There will be no trial. His ex-girlfriend watched as he gunned down her friend/roommate. And, as her neighbor tried to intervene, the ex-girlfriend and his two teenage sons watched the killer take the neighbor's life, too.

There is no judgment from me.  There is only pain, and grief, and unbelievable heartache.  

I know this mother, not her son. I see her interact with her pre-teen daughter; she's full of a mother's love. On a recent visit to her restaurant, she told me her son was working with her there. Full of pride and smiling ear to ear, she pointed him out to me. Today, no doubt, her smile is gone, and what about the pride?

There but by the grace of God.  In an instant it can all change.  Life can be turned topsy-turvy and get messy. Diagnoses come.  Children disappoint. Finances crumble. Security is taken. And, you begin walking in the difficult.

My thoughts today are those of a mother living in small town Franklin, knowing her precious bundle of joy, the one she likely rocked to sleep, bandaged up scraped knees, maybe taught to ride a bicycle, and encouraged to get his life moving in the right direction - is gone. Not only is he gone, but he took others with him.  How do you move? How do you attend to matters your husband, your employer, your pre-teen daughter need?  How do you deal with all the "what if's...."?  How do you deal with small town life? How do you go on.  I hope she cries out to Jesus.

He is only ONE, only ONE, who can understand, who can strengthen, who can calm.  

The world is aching.  The sin of our fallen world has caused so much pain. Some days I'm overwhelmed with all the hurt, all those hurting -- today more than most. The bucket of needy is large and my shovel is so small. 

There but by the grace of God go I, or mine, or yours.

Cry out to Jesus and thank Him for showing his grace today. And pray that when your difficult comes, and it will come, you'll be able to cry out to Jesus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjrBWRSmwYA

The bucket of the needy is large, my shovel is small... but my God is humongous.