It's beyond funny to me that I envisioned selling our house and climbing (figurative) mountains in my quest to live 2014 audaciously. Dream big or go home.
Audacious. Seriously, you can't say that word and not think "something big is coming."
It is. Something big is coming.... but perhaps "my one word" for 2012 and 2013 .... WAIT.... was preparing me for something. Good things come to those who wait, and who follow.
My audacious 2014 meant -- I am ready, here am I, send me.
Now. In 2014.
Over the past year or so, I've presented three wonderful outreach ministries to our church. All three have been shot down. My "I'm ready, here am I, send me"-soul is weary. I'm ready to go, but each God-thing impressed upon my heart has been given the "thumbs down." That's draining.
Yesterday was a particularly hard day for Z and I. We've had very few of those -- he and I. Really, probably not since the days of trying to memorize math facts for timed tests have we had a day so bad. My "I'm ready, here am I, send me" soul shrank as God smacked me up along side my head with His proverbial baseball bat and said "come on, let's clean up your own life audaciously, radically, boldly....and then."
Meanwhile, while I'm audaciously working towards cleaning up debt, minimizing our wants, loving our kids, treasuring my husband and learning more and more how to lean upon my heavenly Father's strength and not my own, the world is hurting all around. Time is of the essence. I must do this work audaciously.
It's all coming together. My season of learning, of study, of changing my world views. My season of waiting for the Lord who brought me new insights and softened my hardened hart.
This season is about the becoming.
I said "send me" -- He's saying "abide in me; let me make you ready."
I'll audaciously abide.
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