What's an introvert to do?

Every Myers Briggs test I've ever taken says I'm a ESTJ.  On few occasions I've tested a ENTJ. But, in my core, I know I'm an introvert who limits her "large group" experiences because I'm that uncomfortable (and no, I've not learned to stretch my limits on this one). 

http://www.personalitypage.com/ESTJ.html

ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.

ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.

Then, I read this and say "yep, that's me."

Still, in my heart, in social situations with large groups of unrelated people, I act introverted.  I can't wait to read this book.  Church or Bible study small groups where I'm not with "my people", where I'm outnumbered by a large number, they're just not my thing.  That's why I'm looking forward to reading this book in the coming days.

So, with my anxiety increasing, and my new "audacious 2014" goal, I made a painfully audacious move. I re-evaluated Facebook.  Please understand that for a (short) period of time Harrison thought my job was somehow related to Facebook because he'd always see me on it (painfully, that's a TRUE story). Note this from my personality profile:

They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically.

That's what Facebook allowed.  I could "keep up" on everything(one) and make certain everything was running smoothly and systematically. Able to swoop in (thank you polar vortex for adding this word back to my vernacular). Surely someone needed my prayers, or more often, my advice.

They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. 

I've told so many Facebook newbies I wish I could have a do-over.  I understand that everyone uses Facebook differently, but I really wanted it to keep in touch with friends and family who were far away, to catch up with people that I remembered and wondered where they were (you know, replace those high school reunions this introvert was never going to), and to keep a diary of sorts of my thoughts, what I valued, what mattered to me at that moment (ahhh, twitter - I do love you!).  

But, you know how it goes, you make a comment on someone's page and then people (many in a hunt to see how many friends they can have, some curious, some mildly interested and some genuinely happy to find you) add you as a friend and how can you say "no".  Well, I know from personal experience you can't say "no" - because people remember a "no".  If you include one you really should include everyone, right? (Okay, perhaps I'm projecting here and/or speaking from a personal, painful memory.)

They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. 

Newbies beware, I say, because you set the tone over the first couple of months on Facebook of what your page is going to be about and for.  For me I'm on the introverted level of Facebook with only slightly over 200 friends (so says FB; I didn't send out nearly that many Christmas cards) and I would hazard to guess that 160 of them, maybe a few less, live within 10 miles of me. Of those 160, perhaps 10 I'd call "my people" and fewer are "our people". So, these days when I check Facebook I get pages and pages and pages of information that my ESTJ feels compelled to scan and process.  It's exhausting for this extroverted-thinking gal's brain.

 They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.

And, let's be honest, there is a lot of "well, SOandSO had a gathering and I wasn't invited"  "oh, who knew SOandSO and SOOandSOO had become such good friends.... hmmmm wonder why they can't be "my people""  "another couples event with with people who could be "our people"".  That's raw, but seriously - for an extroverted-thinking, introverted-acting lady, with diminishing "my people", and with fewer "our people" it's real. It's oh so real.

They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. 

So, my plan of action was to quit Facebook.  Because I'm a "cold turkey", black and white, kind of girl.  But then I scanned my page all the way back to 2008 and realized most of what I wanted it to do, it was. I really do have a handful of "my people" who live far away (some VERY FAR away) and Facebook is a good way to keep up with their lives.  Why throw the whole thing out if I can make it work for me? So, I tested and played around and created a "close friends" list for my news feed and for my posts.  From here on out my posts will be limited to "close friends" and my news feeds is just "close friends".  

It's my long-desired Facebook do-over.

I'm hiding the people who have the ability to be living IN REAL LIFE and not through a screen, and I'm still able to keep in touch with those that I can't be a big part of their real life because of distance. Let me tell you - it's a BLESSING.  It's fantastic.  I've deleted Facebook from my phone and tablet. Checking in is quick, and stress-free, anxiety-free. I don't miss it one bit. Not one bit.

But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.

 So, what's an introvert to do?  A Facebook re-do is just the start.